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Research and ArticlesResearch & Articles: Helping Children to Become Independent Marilyn Lopes 1. Provide a structured physical environment to give children opportunities to make choices and decisions. Clearly identify and separate areas for eating, blocks, dramatic play, table work, and book sharing. This will offer structure and provide limits and direction without adult supervision. 2. Predictable routines and consistent schedules help children understandwhat is happening around them. This helps children feel control over their environment. They can depend on the sameness and therefore feel safe and will eventually be able to predict what will happen next. 3. Clear expectations and rules with appropriate and consistent consequences are necessary to help children learn safe ways of behaving. Simple language helps children to state the rules themselves and helps remind adults not to go into long explanations about why a certain behavior is not acceptable. 4. Plan changes carefully. Warn children about minor or major changes. Unexpected changes in familiar routines can be stressful. Use warnings and regular rituals (ringing a bell, turning off the lights, singing a special song) to let children know what is happening. 5. Offer children control over parts of their day by giving them choices. They should choose an activity - which cup to use, which book to share, etc. Offer limited choices of what is acceptable: "You can hang your coat up yourself, or I can help you." Avoid getting into yes/no arguments with children. 6. Anticipate difficult situations, and take steps to avoid them. If you know that one child starts fights when playing in the block corner, have an adult monitor the play. When the child's behavior is becoming a problem, help the child to take a break to defuse the situation. 7. Mutual respect and the celebration of each individual in your home is an important part of healthy self-esteem. Tell children about the wonderful things they do -- praise their actions, describe how they rise to a challenge, and share your pride. Celebrate the uniqueness of each child. 8. Frequent praise should be heard throughout the day. Each child should hear at least one compliment for his or her behavior every day. Praise EFFORT, not just success! 9. Identify feelings verbally, with facial expressions and with gestures. Help children label how they and others are feeling, and make it clear that FEELING an emotion is good and important, even if it is a hard feeling. Help them learn that only some ways of showing hard feelings are acceptable. 10. Explain how a child's actions affect other people. Help children describe their feelings: "You can tell her that it makes you angry when she takes your truck" and model your own reactions: "When you throw sand, I feel scared that you will hurt someone's eyes. You need to stop!" DOCUMENT USE/COPYRIGHT Reprinted with permission from the National Network for Child Care - NNCC. (1994). Helping children to become independent. In M. Lopes (Ed. CareGiver News (August, p. 3). Amherst, MA: University of Massachusetts Cooperative Extension. Any additions or changes to these materials must be preapproved by the author. COPYRIGHT PERMISSION ACCESS
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